No matter how tough you are, or want to appear, your divorce will likely serve as an emotional and financial whirlwind from start to finish.
You may think divorce will be a bit easier on the kids. But, even though they will not be dealing with the same stresses that you will, they will be navigating their own. Divorce inspires emotional strain regardless of how old an affected child may be. As such, you’ll want to keep in mind that what you tell your kids about your decision to end your marriage can have a lasting impact on their lives.
Here are two things you should never do around your children during (or after) your divorce:
Do not disparage your spouse
Having “nice things” to say about your spouse can be challenging when you are going through a divorce that you attribute to the other party’s fault. Perhaps, they cheated on you and you feel betrayed, hurt and angry.
However, it is crucial that you do not badmouth your spouse in the presence of your children, or anyone else for that matter. Legally, this could eventually be treated as an attempt at parental alienation, and besides jeopardizing your custody case, doing so also hurt your children in the long term.
Do not turn your kids into pawns
It can be tempting to ask your kids to do some things that may seem easy for them and are tough for you. However, this too is inappropriate. Do not use the kids to pass messages to your spouse, spy on their parent or cover up for you. If you have any concerns, seek an audience with your spouse. Likewise, if you need to pass on any information or change plans, talk to your spouse. Using an electronic co-parenting platform can help you to pass along information without having to talk with them directly.
Moving forward
Divorce, in and of itself, is stressful. As such, it is not uncommon for divorce to bring out the worst in people. No matter the circumstances of your divorce, knowing your legal rights and obligations can help you safeguard your children’s best interests – as well as your own – during and after your divorce.
