Any relationship is about give and take. Partners must retain some independence, but respect each other’s needs and boundaries.
Sadly, some relationships can take a toxic turn. This can happen when one partner displays coercive and controlling behaviors. What do these behaviors look like?
Conditional love
Love between spouses should be unconditional. Attaching conditions to affection is a subtle sign of controlling behavior. For example, saying something like, “You’d be so much more attractive to me if you wore more makeup”. Repeated comments of this nature could be a form of controlling behavior and they may even cross the line into emotional abuse.
Cutting you off from friends and family
While couples should enjoy spending time together, this may not be healthy 24/7. Each partner should have their own friends, hobbies and activities. In some cases, a spouse may try to cut their partner off from other people. They may prevent them from going to groups that they previously enjoyed. They may even ban family members from visiting.
Snooping or spying
There is a big difference between asking a spouse how their day was and asking for every single minute detail. If your partner wants to know exactly who you spend your time with each minute of every day, then this is controlling behavior.
A controlling spouse will often look through their partner’s cell phone texts, emails, social media pages and other private accounts. Snooping and spying is a sign of jealousy, and it can signal that the relationship is in real trouble.
If your marriage has become toxic, then getting out of there may be your best option. Seek legal guidance to ensure that you are fully protected throughout the divorce process.
