Going through a divorce can present a feeling of loss. Even if you know the timing and decision makes sense for you, there can be a bitterness to this new beginning. Because if you made the decision to get married, then chances are there were some happy times through the course of your relationship. As you sort out what life after divorce will look like, you’ll have to tell your children why you decided it was time for you and your spouse to go your separate ways.
Depending on your child’s age and personality, you can expect a whole range of emotions and reactions. But in order to help them heal and transition, it’s important to clue them in sooner rather than later. To make the process a little easier, you can team up with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse to guide your child through the entire transition and you can seek outside assistance.
For the kids
Your children will soon live between two homes, but you can ease your them into post-divorce plans by showing you are willing to work with your ex. You might see a lot of negative qualities in your ex, but at the end of the day they are your child’s other parent. Therefore, it can be comforting for your kids to initially hear about your decision to split with both parents present. That way, you can explain how it was a choice mutually made and agreed upon and that neither you nor your children should take the blame for the divorce.
Moving forward, you can continue to co-parent with a sense of unity and not make a fuss of child-related or other matters in front of your kids. This means showing you can get along during face-to-face interactions like custody exchanges and only speaking neutrally or positively about your former spouse when they are not around.
It takes a village
If your children are old enough to understand what’s happening, then they might feel like the divorce is their fault or slip into a depression. As a parent, you’ll naturally try to do all you can to comfort your children. However, it’s crucial to keep in mind that asking for outside support can make a world of difference. There are many families who have gone through the same thing, so it may be helpful to look for a support group or find a family therapist.
You might soon find yourself quite confident with your newfound independence after your breakup. But when it comes to your children, a little extra love and support from several sources can go a long way.
