When your marriage starts falling apart, you may feel like your entire life is out of your control. It is natural to feel frustrated and anxious when something you once expected to last for your whole life unexpectedly ends. Particularly when your spouse files or when you feel forced into filing by their actions, you may feel like your life has spun out of control.

Going through a divorce does not have to be a disempowering, frustrating experience. You and your ex have the opportunity to work together by filing an uncontested divorce. Not only will an uncontested filing reduce the contention in your divorce, but it can also give you more control over the outcome of your divorce, which can make the entire process more empowering.

How a litigated divorce leaves you at the mercy of the system

When you and your ex have to go through the courts to secure your divorce, the judge who presides over the case will be the one who decides on all of the most important terms. From the division of your parental rights and responsibilities to the way that they split up your assets and debts, the judge is the one who gets to make all of the major calls regarding who gets what in terms of both physical possessions and custody.

Especially in a situation where you have something you desperately want to protect, such as your personal professional practice, or an asset that that has significant emotional value, a contested divorce can be a massive source of stress, as you will not be able to control the final terms set and could lose out on what matters the most to you.

When negotiating terms, you have the power to push for your best outcome

Whether you work with your attorney to directly negotiate with your ex’s lawyer or you go through mediation, when you set the terms for your divorce amicably with your ex, you retain all the control. The two of you will both need to agree on the terms you set, but you will have the authority to make decisions that reflect what matters the most to you.

Additionally, an uncontested divorce will often be faster, cost less and cause less emotional damage to any children you share by reducing tensions. If you want to retain control over your divorce, working toward an uncontested filing may be your best option.