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Arguments, personality flaws and other marriage myths

Some people in Texas might worry that they have personality flaws that will damage their marriage. However, it is a myth that flawed people cannot have successful marriages. All people are flawed, but it is how the couple deals with their flaws that is important. This is one of several myths that can be dangerous to a marriage.

Long-term relationships lead to more sex for the people in them than single people have, but the myth that sex ends in marriage persists. Another myth about marriage is that there is only one right way to have disagreements. The marriage counselor and writer John Gottman says that the popular technique of active listening does not resolve conflict for couples. Only a few find it helpful, and most revert back to old communication patterns. Gottman says research does not support the idea that certain ways of arguing or frequency of arguments is related to the happiness of a marriage.

Equality in a marriage is another misunderstood concept. Some people might think this means they share all tasks 50/50. However, a successful marriage involves people giving more than 50 percent as needed. At certain times, one spouse may be overwhelmed and the other has to pick up the responsibilities, and at other times, that will change. However, the bulk of the work should not fall one on spouse indefinitely.

Marriages may fail for these or other reasons. If a couple decides to get a divorce, they will need to split up their property and make an agreement about child custody if they have children. Mediation may be helpful in reaching these agreements. Litigation is a process in which there may be a winner and a loser, but in mediation, the focus is on reaching an agreement that suits both parties. If mediation is unsuccessful, litigation is still an option.

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